Gov. Sanford – Dude, I really don’t care where you go or if your wife knows where you are or that you spent Father’s Day in Argentina with your girlfriend instead of with your kids. If I’d planned to vote for you (which, I didn’t), I’d still vote for you. But …here’s the thing:
You are a Republican.
You want to be President.
Republican presidents don’t have sex.
With anyone.
Not my rules. Your rules.
Game over for you, my friend. Thanks for playing.
Attention Whore (aka Kim Jong-il): CNN – “North Korea recently threatened to “wipe out” the United States if provoked.”
What, are you three years old? It’s been like 15 minutes since someone mentioned you and there you are with your stupid hair, going through withdrawal. Jumping up and down yelling “Look at me! Look at meeeeee!”
You do realize the world is laughing at you, right? Was that what you were going for? Because if you were trying to make us laugh, I can totally get behind that. That would actually be totally cool of you. The world is all stressed out over the situation in Iran and you are just doing your part to lighten the mood. Well done!
To the guy who named the Terminal High Altitude Area Defense missile defense system: So, how much thought did you give to the fact that the military would have to announce that they’ve sent THAAD to Hawaii to protect us? THAAD? Man, I could totally beat-up THAAD. What kind of name is that for a piece of high-tech military equipment? Couldn’t you have come up with something for the letters STUD or even COCK-BLOCK…yanno cuz its a missile interception system and a missile is shaped like a penis…oh forget it.
Karl Rove (Because there is no bigger penis than Karl Rove): You don’t want to suggest the Obama administration is responsible for the death of protesters in Iran? You think his lack of strong words of condemnation last week gave the Iranian government permission to behave like assholes? Really? Ya think they were all hovering around their TV’s perusing Fox News and CNN, waiting to make sure it was ok with us before they started shooting people?
In fact, perhaps the fact that he didn’t condemn Iran before the election led directly to the election trouble itself. When he didn’t speak, they figured “hey, American isn’t watching, we can do whatever the fuck we want!”
And no doubt, the 1979 Iranian overthrow of the Shaw was a direct result of Obama not speaking out strongly enough. He was probably studying for a test, but he really should have taken the time.
OMG! It is all about us!
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OMFG, your Kim Jong-il quote had me laughing like a MOTHER FUCKER. When my Korean friends want to mock him, they hold their hair up in exaggerated mohawks and we all yell, “RESPECT KOREA!!!” Seriously, the man is a LOON.
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