The Real World – Washington D.C.

It’s Republican Presidential Primary Debate Season… seems like they are having debates 2 or 3 times a week, literally. I don’t watch, I just let Jon Stewart pull the the amusing highlights and share them with me. The Daily Show is like my political Talk Soup or The Soup or whatever the hell that show is called… you know, or Google it, whatever.

And just when I really think I’ve found something with which  to go off on a good rant, I just think… I can’t really mock them any better than the Daily Show and honestly, nothing going on at any of these debates really matters.. I’m suffering from reality TV ennui people. Nothing is going on here except endless daily drama that all seems just a little to …scripted for ratings.

I got mildly excited when Gingrich surged in the polls recently, because, while I know logically he will never be the GOP candidate for President, I’d so enjoy watching the train wreck that campaign would turn out to be. That would be a sitcom, instead of a pathetically overly-dramatic, boring-as-fuck reality show. And afterward, someone would write a really juicy tell-all about just how twisted and corrupt Newt is…

Or maybe I’m wrong, maybe the right-wing base is ready to elect a man who has been married three times, cheated on his wife, was sanctioned by Congress for ethics violations (including a $300K fine) and resigned in disgrace. I am sure he can convince them he’s just the man to return America to a time of family values…

It really is all very much like a season of The Real World – Washington D.C. (or have they done that one already?*) … reality TV gone so wrong, it’s comical.

No seriously… am I supposed to believe Rick Perry wants to get rid of three departments of government, one of which he can’t remember? And that when someone else suggested the EPA, he was totally going to use that answer…till the debate moderator called him on it. Oops. Oops indeed Gov. Perry.

We have a minimum age requirement for running for President, can we slip in a minimum I.Q. requirement too?

No, really. I’m not being funny.

Please.

And then there’s Herman Cain. Lewis Black once said that Michael Jackson had become the ultimate joke… all you had to do was say his name… and that was the joke; the set-up AND the punch line. Seems like Herman Cain has stepped up to take his place, so comics don’t have to do jokes that are perhaps over the line, now that MJ is gone.

Seriously. Try it out. Say Herman Cain out loud to yourself and see if you don’t giggle, or at least crack a smile. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

I told you.

Note to the guys getting paid to advise Rick Santorum on his Presidential candidacy: You should be ashamed of yourselves. Seriously. You are so going to hell for lying to that guy. And? For making me feel almost sympathy for the guy. Wait, no, that’s not sympathy, that’s nausea. I was confused for a moment… Fuck him; tell him whatever you like and charge him a LOT of money for it.

Same goes for Michelle. The Professor and Mary Ann too… wait.

We all know it’s going to be Mitt Romney.

The rest is theater… just like most reality TV.

*Just for giggles, I Googled and there has been a Real World – D.C. …just recently. I was even more shocked to find out the show was still on the air… 26 seasons since 1992… nevermind… I couldn’t possibly care less…